Last Thursday, the night before my 33- hour yoga immersion weekend, I found a large area of our downstairs carpet wet. Almost an entire week later we determine the cause of our wet carpet (a burst pipe). This high level and long duration of ambiguity and frustration would normally drive me (or anyone) crazy. Not to mention the fact alone that our carpet and other parts of our finished basement are in ruins. Top this with the reality that we have never had an issue with water in our basement, nor did any previous owners for the last 30 years. Combine all of this with being a new mom, a teacher who helps people find their center, and you could say this is a recipe for a minor meltdown. Or just the opposite...
I thought..."Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if I practice the first principle (Open to Grace) instead of going straight to my pattern of practicing second principle (Muscle Energy)." While I had moments of beating myself up with inquisition: "How could this happen?" "We've done a horrible job protecting our investment?" "How could we be so irresponsible?" All of these would prove wasted energy, since it was a problem we never could have predicted. Thankfully, overall, I was able to mitigate these counterproductive thoughts and reactions. Instead by pausing and acknowledging my reality (first principle) I was able to move almost straight to acceptance. The flow of life offers me a basement of ruins, yet I get to choose how to respond.
The reactions of my former flagellating-self were not of interest. Keeping body, mind and emotions balancing were the call of my practice. Throughout the weekend I chose to affirm life by treating the people around me well and following my breath. Each time the negative storm of emotions rose I would counter with more breath, more first principle. "Open to your life - this is the offering - you get to choose," was my mantra. I'd remind myself that this was a wave and while I can't stop it I can choose to sink or go surfing. I am happy to report that I chose to surf.
The interesting thing about this situation is that for the last nine months I have been fantasizing about transforming our downstairs from a family room to a yoga space/play space for August. Since August began crawling my desire for this transformation has steadily grown. You could argue that where energy goes - energy flows. In this case that "flowing" took the literal form of water. I don't (and didn't) wish for the water and subsequent ruins to be the precursor to re-doing our downstairs, however, the circumstances have set in motion the very outcome I desire.
The truth is this is a less than desirable situation. Our downstairs is a wreck. We are still haggling with insurance adjusters, contractors, etc. This is where my second principle work enters (Muscle Energy). In this experience I have been able to identify the appropriate place for the principles - all because I see the ability of my choices to empower my dream into reality. Each step in this process guides us one step closer to creating an amazing space for yoga- play. It is all in the attitude and actions you apply to facing the reality. I am confident that if I choose to view this situation as a catalyst to a dream come true - then that is the result I will achieve.
It helps that I am aware of the cosmological concept called Anava Mala. Anusara yoga metaphysics identifies that the condition of being human entails three malas, or conditions (dust) that limit (veil) our ability to experience our nature, which is always supreme consciousness. As the pulse that creates life moves from pure consciousness into human form - limitations to experience the fullness of our nature become inherent to the human condition. Anava Mala arises when we feel that we are "less than, unworthy, inferior." Malas are the dust that cover up the truth that we are always pulsing with fullness - supreme consciousness. The truth is that we always have everything that we need to be content, happy and full. Just like the grass is always beneath the snow; although cleverly hidden from view. Our bodies have boundaries and limitations and consequently so do our minds. However our spirit (heart) is always boundless, full and complete. The body and mind cause us to forget, to limit our capacity to experience our boundless spirit. Yet our heart reminds us that we have everything we need to be satisfied - even happy or blissful.
The highest practice we can wish to achieve is to be able to step into the flow of grace with acceptance and wonder rather than negativity and fear. The flow is all of the chaos, fluctuations of our life, so even when Anava Mala arises - we can smile and know that the fullness is present - even as the dust settles on our heart and limits our ability to connect to supreme consciousness. Grace is the truth that there is support for our life - even with all the dust, the waves, the chaos - grace is the constant, which takes tangible form in our breath. This cloaking of our nature is supposed to happen, so that we can remember and be able to celebrate the next time we get a hit of the divine splendor that is at the core essence of our existence.
Evidence that there is support for our lives rang true to me when hearing this quote last weekend during the fluctuations of my life: "Any thought that your mind can create is never 100% true, so why not decide to align with the positive side of that thought?" Here are the sanskrit and English translation for the Anusara Invocation, which illustrate the highest path of our practice:
Anusara Invocaton:
Om Namah Shivaya Gurave
Saccidananda Murtaye
Nisprapancaya Shantaya
Niralambaya Tejase
Translation:
I offer myself to the Light, who is the True Teacher
within and without (the teacher of all teachers),
Who assumes the forms of
Reality, Consciousness and Bliss,
Who is never absent and is full of peace,
Independent in its existence,
It is the vital essence of illumination.
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