Turn it Around

Sometimes I see a glimpse of the deep order in nature, and this beautiful peek always fills me with such comfort. Yesterday, in a moment of connection to the grand flow of nature, I consider whatever I am feeling has two sides: The side that is most apparent, or at the surface. And the other side that is below the surface. Each of these points of view creates waves of thoughts, emotions and physical reactions. Therefore if both sides are always present - don't I have a choice of which to align with and further manifest? Does that mean I can do away with the other, less appealing option?

The concept of converses reminds me of my days studying for the law school entrance exam. On the exam you must demonstrate your ability to identify holes in logic. For example if a=c and b=a then does c=b? These types of fun little puzzles are everywhere, aren't they? If I am mad at my mother-in-law does that mean I love her? Since it is true that if I am angry that means I also love the object of my anger. So I can choose to focus on the reality that I love her and then attempt to express my emotions and deepen intimacy within the relationship. My other option might be to express the anger in a different way.

The science of yoga also celebrates converse puzzles of logic.

Here we go...

When you attempt a back-bend what usually happens? Something brings you out, right? Think for a moment what brings you out and then finish reading. I can only speak from experience. I know that pain in my low back, weak neck and upper back muscles kept me from enjoying back bends. Most importantly my pain was born from a general lack of awareness of how to hold myself. All I could find within was tightness, pain, drudgery. The physical expression always comes from the inner body. So yoga is always inviting us to align from the inner body - to tap into the layers of who we are and find truth - then the truth manifests into beauty. That's why when I see students move I constantly say - "beautiful, gorgeous" because it takes so much courage to step onto the mat and only truth/beauty can be born from courage. The act of courage is a release and renunciation of fear. The more we practice the act of courage the more fear dissipates from the layers of our existence. So....practice back bends if you wish to be fearless. A back bend can be defined as having all of the following present:

*clear, steady alignment in the lower body,
*a full, supported channel of inner-body energy in the low and middle back,
* and the outer shoulder blades reaching toward one another at the back of the heart.

Upon reflection regarding my former days in back bend misery, I articulate my attitude as being one of ignorance or lack of awareness. After some self-study what happens when I am ignorant on a subject I tend to be easily persuaded by fear. If I don't know the answer I get nervous, anxious, fearful. Therefore it only makes sense that I would be unable to perform a back bend and experience the opposite of fear - support, comfort, joy, even love.

Now as a more seasoned yoga practitioner I can see these parallels in my life. When I contract. When I am scared, fearful, ignorant - I have a reflex. My reflex is to act - speak and act in ways that don't honor my highest self. Into the awareness that I am in a state of fear I am able to realize that I need to turn my feeling on its head - uttanita. The translation of uttanita is "to turn it around." Therefore if I am experiencing a reflex born from fear - I know I am somehow disconnected from awareness - I am not seeing the truth - either physically, mentally or emotionally. Once I realize that I am disconnected, I can trace the disconnection to a specific area of my life. Then I am able to rationalize what created the disconnection. Finally I am able to repair the disconnection. What is the opposite of disconnection - being plugged in to the grand, deep order of nature. Our disconnections, while frustrating - are also equally beautiful. The disconnections are what force us to seek the truth and beauty - within our back bends and in all relationships.