I am creating a rugged map of yoga that illuminates my recent inspiration to harness and refine desire in my own life. First I want to offer my deepest gratitude to my teachers Ali Certain and Ronna Rochell. In perspective I also offer that my heart is open in a big way for embracing the path and message of Anusara yoga and as a result I give due credit to myself as well.
Today's lesson focuses on desire. This is a word with tons of connotation both positive and negative. In many ways desire is what leads to misery in my own life, but it is now that I am taking a deeper look at desire. We can all relate to the desire for ice cream, attention, money, time off from work....you fill in the blank. Desire bombards us; it is relentless. Anusara yoga says, "Good celebrate your desire, but be skillful."
In my life as a Minnesotan growing up with teacher parents devoted to the Lutheran Church you could say that I was given mixed messages about desire. Desire? Bad. Discipline? Good. Okay so I honored that as best I could - often ignoring things that felt natural to me because they didn't seem disciplined. Example? As a graduating senior I chose my college based on the prompting of my parents instead of following an instinct, and the encouragement of my drama coach to go to New York City and insert myself in the theater scene. I was always performing in downhill skiing, choir, solo vocal performance, and plays. Yet these activities should be hobbies, according to my parents. And so being the disciplined, studious daughter I had always been I went to the Lutheran Liberal Arts college and attempted to set my sights on something more serious.
I began with a double major in biology and chemistry; declaring a pre-medicine major. I promptly hit a wall in my first study group when a fellow member took notice of my inability to keep up with concepts she said were "basic." I remember leaving that study group so sad. I felt like such a failure. I was crying to my roommate, calling my parents - threatening to quit school. The next four years were a steady pulse of the same theme of missing the mark revealing itself. I majored in math, physics, communications, political science, fashion and apparel design somehow emerging with a double major in print journalism and political science. I found the school newspaper and the mock trial my stage; finding intermittent moments of success and repose. Receiving an occasional nod from professors for articles on refugee influx, implications of war in non-democratic societies and farm bill policy.
The fire of desire was revealing itself in a passion for identifying injustice and mis-alignment in the world. I set my sights on law school determining I would be a lobbyist or work for a non-governmental agency advocating for human rights. I followed this desire to the law school application process, to Denver, Colorado working as a paralegal. Again I hit walls. I was sick; chronic strep throat. My Midwestern lungs couldn't take the Denver air; not at this time anyway. I couldn't take care of others through this lofty mission of advocacy when I was unwell myself. Connecting to a yoga practice after a brief absence from yoga I started to feel an unveiling; desire was returning.
This time desire led me back to Minnesota. One tonsilectomy and I was ready to find work in law again. I spent the next year working for two different attorneys and again....hit the wall. My work was in the business of law - not in the business of helping. The story doesn't end here. There were more walls and more moments of clarity.
Today my svadharma (desired path) is the same. My desire combined with my gifts has always been to serve. The form that this takes today is in a mission to light a path for those open to the message. The word guru means from darkness to lightness. I am not a guru because yoga comes so easy for me; yoga is very difficult work for me. But because I am willing to be honest with myself; to roll out the mat each day and look inside at what is truly there....I gather great riches to share a means to find the path into light. This deep work is fueled by a desire to live my life in a fashion that affirms and celebrates light. And although there is plenty of darkness cloaking me along the way - yoga teaches me to reach for the highest path - my heart. My community of students are my teachers. You inspire me. You roll out your mat with such courage and trust...this is the work of moving toward the light. Your desire to unveil is so inspiring. May we lift each other up when desire is dormant...until it reveals itself again.....may we walk through the darkness and navigate a path around the walls together.
May we celebrate desire. Use desire for the fuel and life blood that it is - to listen when it calls in a skillful fashion. Desire calls us to the mat - even in the moments when we feel like life is too full to roll out the mat - may we listen to the siren call despite all odds.
To your desire.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Opening to Grace
It is a curious endeavor to teach yoga and write about yoga, because inevitably I struggle with my opportunities to practice what I teach in my own life. There are many moments every day where I want to dismiss yogic philosophy - justifying that it doesn't apply to my situation. I feel like my experience is the exception rather than the rule. Then I soften and laugh at myself realizing how wrong I am. It is very challenging to make the shift from absorbing in the flow of society and finding the flow of Grace. After all, I am not meditating on a mountain; I am living as a householder in the real world. And I'm trying to find the light within a sea of challenges - in a world where mis-deeds and inequities are everywhere. And when these same mis-alignments are even celebratory for some. It is in these moments I have come to value the practice of seeing that things are not complicated; they are actually simple. The more I remember the path of Anusara I re-infuse energy into the lesson of my collective life, which can be summed up in this thought: "Remember, Plug-In and Brighten."
I believe that by practicing and sharing the Tantric path of yoga beautiful ripples of energy will flow into the world and create the best outcome for present and future generations. I don't teach yoga only to feel better and help others feel better. I teach yoga to change the world in a way that will preserve and help the planet and beyond to thrive for future generations. I believe that every moment is a key moment and that my alignments and mis-alignments with Nature have consequences. So how do I make decisions? In a 28 year lifetime of not knowing my "thing" I have for the past three years bound myself to something that feels so affirming that this once commitment-phobe has reformed. My thing? Anusara yoga and Tantric philosophy.
Tantra means a technology or instrument for expansion of Spirit. Tantric philosophy applied to a yoga practice has a very different implication than Advaita Vedanta Yoga, which began approximately 6th century BCE or Classical Yoga, which began approximately 2nd to 5th century CE. Tantra began approximately 7th or 8th century CE.
Classical Yoga teaches that freedom can be achieved by isolating pure awareness from the material world. That the Spirit that embodies the flesh is superior to the body. The body is an inferior vehicle, but through discipline humans can transcend the material inferiority. In Advaita Vedanta yoga freedom occurs when perceptions are shifted to see Spirit everywhere and realize that matter is an illusion. Through Advaita Vedanta we are to learn to change our thinking to realize that you are not your body...you are something much more. Tantric yoga says that freedom is achieved by aligning with the Divine Flow simultaneously within the physical experience. Tantra says that both Spirit and matter are real and that the body is a manifestation of Spirit. Essentially that Spirit took such delight in learning about itself that it decided to bind itself into matter to increase its spectrum of experience and understanding. Therefore body and Spirit are one - nothing to be transcended or changed - we simply have to plug in to the flow of remembering our Universal or Divine nature. To honor the Light (Namaste).
All yogic philosophies provide a systematic way to alleviate suffering in the human condition. Yet Tantra tells us that our body, our material form is not a hindrance to enlightenment. In fact we can experience enlightenment within our body, because it has been fashioned by the Universal. This means we can discover the Universal in our lives and in all things. The other schools of yoga assert that the body is somehow inferior and must be conquered and disciplined. Discipline is certainly a large part of Anusara yoga, but the work is plugging into the flow of Grace. We have to learn about ourselves and our nature in order to align with our nature. We quickly realize that this means work.
When we sit on the couch and watch television we are Divine. When we get frustrated with people we love we are Divine. When we lie we are Divine. But this does not mean that everything is going to be easy, and it does not mean that the Divine takes delight in our laziness or our mis-deeds. The Divine is very much hurt and devastated by our mis-deeds i.e. the sickness I feel after eating too many Twizzlers. These mis-alignments reveal themselves in our bodies, minds and hearts. They create a film over our radiance. This is why yoga poses feel so life affirming; the Divine delights in mindful movement i.e. us supporting the Universal Principles of Alignment (UPA). Yoga poses are our way of connecting to the Divine through the UPA. Enter asana, meditation, relationships and everything that requires work, but has tremendous value. It takes effort and constant care to maintain a yoga practice or a relationship, but we do it because we receive so much happiness as a result. Yoga practice and healthy relationships are life affirming acts. This is how I make decision in daily life. Does this affirm the highest intentions I set for my life? If yes then I go for it with great gusto! If not then I try to avoid the mis-alignment and see the lesson.
The path of Anusara acknowledges that life in this body and in this world is going to be challenging. But if we get to know ourselves and if we learn to step into the flow it will become easier to make skillful choices. As a result of our chit (self-awareness) we become more connected to the Sat (truth) that we are engineered by the Divine (ananda) - Sadchitananda. When we know this truth on a physical level we are more inspired to continue to seek moments with our Divine nature. We yearn to unveil, to remember. This is where flexible and strong unite - expansion and contraction. When we are both. When we are the unique individual with a story and experience, but we are also deeply connected to the truth that we are also the Universal. We understand and more effortlessly connect in an affirming way to all things the more we unveil.
When I sit on the couch - watching television and eating Twizzlers am I engaging in a life affirming action? The question is answered, "it depends." It depends whether doing this activity affirms the larger picture I want to see for my life. Therefore whenever I am confused about how to live my yoga this is the new question I ask: "Does this activity affirm my life and the highest intentions I imagine for myself?" If I can answer honestly then I know what I need to do. It is this simple. The difficult part is figuring out what you want and then courageously acting in a fashion that affirms and aligns with the highest intentions you have for your existence. What you want ultimately. Not what you want instant gratification-style. What are your highest intentions for your life? What value do these intentions hold for you? And what are you willing to do about making these intentions a reality?
Anusara yoga embraces a dance of Shiva Shakti energy in all things that are living. Shiva meaning "The One." Shakti meaning "the many." Therefore we are The One and we are the many. We absorb in a constant pulsation of veiling and unveiling of our true nature, which according to Anusara and Tantra is, at its core essence, pure goodness by virtue that we are each "The One". While there is evil in the world and people are capable of evil - nothing at its core essence is evil - everything is instead good because everything has been created for and from the delight of The Divine. Our bodies bind us. They are finite vessels vulnerable to aches, pains, illness and disease. As a result of our material form we often forget that at our core essence we are Divine, Universal, Light, Shiva. But imagine how our world and our children's world would look if we all walked around everyday totally blissed out - fully swimming in the current of Grace - completely unveiled? Beautiful. This is my highest intention for my life. This is what I want. And I will tell you that sometimes eating Twizzlers affirms this and sometimes it doesn't.
We each have so much on our plate each day that it may seem exhausting to think about these lofty goals. However if we dare to dream we can plug into bliss during even the most challenging portions of our day. If we start to see the Divine in all things. If we extend a smile to a stranger we see that the stranger most likely smiles back. If we choose to listen instead of yell we may understand the individual better and within that connection we align with the Divine. We tap into the Universal. In living this way we actually conserve energy. We let go of consuming, energy-depleting emotions like anger, saddness, anxiety and regret. We are lined up with our birth right, which is joy, peace and love. As the great Tantric scholar, Douglas Brooks says, "We are the point the Universe is trying to make."
I believe that by practicing and sharing the Tantric path of yoga beautiful ripples of energy will flow into the world and create the best outcome for present and future generations. I don't teach yoga only to feel better and help others feel better. I teach yoga to change the world in a way that will preserve and help the planet and beyond to thrive for future generations. I believe that every moment is a key moment and that my alignments and mis-alignments with Nature have consequences. So how do I make decisions? In a 28 year lifetime of not knowing my "thing" I have for the past three years bound myself to something that feels so affirming that this once commitment-phobe has reformed. My thing? Anusara yoga and Tantric philosophy.
Tantra means a technology or instrument for expansion of Spirit. Tantric philosophy applied to a yoga practice has a very different implication than Advaita Vedanta Yoga, which began approximately 6th century BCE or Classical Yoga, which began approximately 2nd to 5th century CE. Tantra began approximately 7th or 8th century CE.
Classical Yoga teaches that freedom can be achieved by isolating pure awareness from the material world. That the Spirit that embodies the flesh is superior to the body. The body is an inferior vehicle, but through discipline humans can transcend the material inferiority. In Advaita Vedanta yoga freedom occurs when perceptions are shifted to see Spirit everywhere and realize that matter is an illusion. Through Advaita Vedanta we are to learn to change our thinking to realize that you are not your body...you are something much more. Tantric yoga says that freedom is achieved by aligning with the Divine Flow simultaneously within the physical experience. Tantra says that both Spirit and matter are real and that the body is a manifestation of Spirit. Essentially that Spirit took such delight in learning about itself that it decided to bind itself into matter to increase its spectrum of experience and understanding. Therefore body and Spirit are one - nothing to be transcended or changed - we simply have to plug in to the flow of remembering our Universal or Divine nature. To honor the Light (Namaste).
All yogic philosophies provide a systematic way to alleviate suffering in the human condition. Yet Tantra tells us that our body, our material form is not a hindrance to enlightenment. In fact we can experience enlightenment within our body, because it has been fashioned by the Universal. This means we can discover the Universal in our lives and in all things. The other schools of yoga assert that the body is somehow inferior and must be conquered and disciplined. Discipline is certainly a large part of Anusara yoga, but the work is plugging into the flow of Grace. We have to learn about ourselves and our nature in order to align with our nature. We quickly realize that this means work.
When we sit on the couch and watch television we are Divine. When we get frustrated with people we love we are Divine. When we lie we are Divine. But this does not mean that everything is going to be easy, and it does not mean that the Divine takes delight in our laziness or our mis-deeds. The Divine is very much hurt and devastated by our mis-deeds i.e. the sickness I feel after eating too many Twizzlers. These mis-alignments reveal themselves in our bodies, minds and hearts. They create a film over our radiance. This is why yoga poses feel so life affirming; the Divine delights in mindful movement i.e. us supporting the Universal Principles of Alignment (UPA). Yoga poses are our way of connecting to the Divine through the UPA. Enter asana, meditation, relationships and everything that requires work, but has tremendous value. It takes effort and constant care to maintain a yoga practice or a relationship, but we do it because we receive so much happiness as a result. Yoga practice and healthy relationships are life affirming acts. This is how I make decision in daily life. Does this affirm the highest intentions I set for my life? If yes then I go for it with great gusto! If not then I try to avoid the mis-alignment and see the lesson.
The path of Anusara acknowledges that life in this body and in this world is going to be challenging. But if we get to know ourselves and if we learn to step into the flow it will become easier to make skillful choices. As a result of our chit (self-awareness) we become more connected to the Sat (truth) that we are engineered by the Divine (ananda) - Sadchitananda. When we know this truth on a physical level we are more inspired to continue to seek moments with our Divine nature. We yearn to unveil, to remember. This is where flexible and strong unite - expansion and contraction. When we are both. When we are the unique individual with a story and experience, but we are also deeply connected to the truth that we are also the Universal. We understand and more effortlessly connect in an affirming way to all things the more we unveil.
When I sit on the couch - watching television and eating Twizzlers am I engaging in a life affirming action? The question is answered, "it depends." It depends whether doing this activity affirms the larger picture I want to see for my life. Therefore whenever I am confused about how to live my yoga this is the new question I ask: "Does this activity affirm my life and the highest intentions I imagine for myself?" If I can answer honestly then I know what I need to do. It is this simple. The difficult part is figuring out what you want and then courageously acting in a fashion that affirms and aligns with the highest intentions you have for your existence. What you want ultimately. Not what you want instant gratification-style. What are your highest intentions for your life? What value do these intentions hold for you? And what are you willing to do about making these intentions a reality?
Anusara yoga embraces a dance of Shiva Shakti energy in all things that are living. Shiva meaning "The One." Shakti meaning "the many." Therefore we are The One and we are the many. We absorb in a constant pulsation of veiling and unveiling of our true nature, which according to Anusara and Tantra is, at its core essence, pure goodness by virtue that we are each "The One". While there is evil in the world and people are capable of evil - nothing at its core essence is evil - everything is instead good because everything has been created for and from the delight of The Divine. Our bodies bind us. They are finite vessels vulnerable to aches, pains, illness and disease. As a result of our material form we often forget that at our core essence we are Divine, Universal, Light, Shiva. But imagine how our world and our children's world would look if we all walked around everyday totally blissed out - fully swimming in the current of Grace - completely unveiled? Beautiful. This is my highest intention for my life. This is what I want. And I will tell you that sometimes eating Twizzlers affirms this and sometimes it doesn't.
We each have so much on our plate each day that it may seem exhausting to think about these lofty goals. However if we dare to dream we can plug into bliss during even the most challenging portions of our day. If we start to see the Divine in all things. If we extend a smile to a stranger we see that the stranger most likely smiles back. If we choose to listen instead of yell we may understand the individual better and within that connection we align with the Divine. We tap into the Universal. In living this way we actually conserve energy. We let go of consuming, energy-depleting emotions like anger, saddness, anxiety and regret. We are lined up with our birth right, which is joy, peace and love. As the great Tantric scholar, Douglas Brooks says, "We are the point the Universe is trying to make."
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