Grace is the invisible, yet ever present, unwavering support for our lives. Not only the support for us to survive, but the support for us to thrive. The practice of yoga looms us into consciousness with Grace. We are able to surf the current when we feel how supported we are to act with courage and confidence. We are the ones we have been waiting for, and we are the point the universe is trying to make (Professor Douglas Brooks says this). He says that we are in a constant state of connecting and disconnecting to how amazingly intelligent and worthy we are. We use the asana practice as a container to wipe away the dust that settles and veils us from the reality that we are pure consciousness.
When our bones, muscles and tissues are well aligned our nervous system is relaxed. Our brain transmits a signal that all is well. There is a deep order within our physical body - just as there is an order to the cosmos, the universe and indeed our environment. There is an order among people, animals and ecosystems. Everything has a place and everything is related to one another. When we slip out of alignment in any of our relationships we feel pain; we curse the current for not being present for us - neglecting to lift us up. Yet it is always us that is free to choose to surf or sink.
For many years I would go to my doctor regularly - at least once a month from the time I was 22 until I was 27. Believing she was the person in charge of ensuring that I feel better. Relying on her to help get me back into alignment. Relying on her to discover the deeper problems creating my symptoms of chronic strep throat, back and neck pain. I saw chiropractors weekly hoping that they would some how find the magic fix to relieve my pain. I would pick up books on yoga and practice yoga in many different ways. And I would always feel better upon offering my questions up to my practice. Yet I never saw the yoga practice as the cure. I thought medicine and adjustments would heal me. I was always waiting around for someone else to seal my fate. Someone much smarter, wiser, someone with more titles after or before their name would be delivering me a message that would make my pain go away.
Pregnancy was the first time I was able to fully understand the potency of self-healing. I had a common experience of many pregnant women in that my digestion became very slow -- creating an overgrowth of yeast and bacteria in my body. No doubt the years of antibiotics contributed to this condition and the pregnancy likely highlighted the symptoms. Upon this diagnosis from my general practitioner I was horrified and uncomfortable. Sadly her prescription did not ease my mind either. She said to take a course of antibiotics for the bacteria. I am not a science buff, but my question was how would this cure the yeast? Wouldn't antibiotics create more yeast? The bacteria did need clearing, since it was risky toward the baby being born pre-term.
Challenging my doctors advice I went to an applied kinesiologist and a natural health doctor. Both practitioners confirmed my thought that antibiotics would be counter-intuitive, and finally I felt a large amount of relief. They had supported my instinct....I somehow felt healing wasn't far away. Instead of a course of antibiotics I started a course of whole vitamins, fish oil, vitamin C, calcium among other rituals to eliminate the unwanted bacteria and yeast. Changing my diet by eliminating dairy, soy and gluten. Within a few days I felt a lot better and over the course of months leading into present day - I have not felt so healthy since I was a young child.
Returning to my general doctor I received a clean bill of health a few months later and to present day. My doctor actually asked me if she could document the remedies and share them with other people. She did further research to determine that other doctors in her field use similar homeopathic strategies for healing patients with similar conditions.
It was a big step to stray from the advice of my doctor and rely on my gut. After many years of having my doctor on a pedestal, as someone who knows more - someone who would heal me - to rather trust in myself. My practice leads me to studentship of the great order and mystery that is me. As I step into practice each day - my physical alignment brings my head, heart and stomach into union. The dust of doubt gets cleared away through my courage to trust in my intelligence, wisdom and experience. Who am I but a living, breathing embodiment of intelligent life; I am worthy and amazing. My practice is fueled by a deep desire to align - to uncover more of this amazing and deep order.
Don't let anyone (including yourself!!!!) tell you or make you feel like you are unworthy. You are intelligent, worthy, amazing and bright. When the dust settles trust that you have the ability to wipe it away in any moment you choose. Sit for a few moments in meditation each day to grow closer to your inner wisdom. Surrender your eyes to close while taking a nice seat, and let yourself be breathed. Know that there is support for your life to be full and radiant. Let your groins settle toward the Earth and your abdomen and ribs to reach toward the back body extending upward toward the Sky. See yourself radiating bright light within. See the inner wisdom in your intelligent channel and move through your day from this place. Namaste.
