Life happens for us, not to us

Life Is Happening for Us, Not To Us

When life is challenging my old pattern is to try to wait out the storm. I  would nail down tightly the story lines and agendas in my head, crawling through life and waiting for the storm to pass.  Breathing easier when things seem more even again. But lately one event after another thickens the plot and creates twists and turns spinning my stories and agendas in many directions.  Plans, ideas and dreams seem to get challenged or demolished at every turn.  I try to choose to see challenge as an opportunity to get stronger - to beat my butterfly wings harder against the limitations of my cocoon.  It is not always my first instinct, but when I do choose to stare down challenge and unchosen change one thing is certain - the quality of my inner mind, heart and soul is better.  Most of the time something is born that I couldn't have plotted better myself.  The interesting part is the challenge of letting go and listening.   During a seasonal transition  letting go and listening are key to sanity and happiness. 

This week I spoke about change and how it is often our inner resistance to change that is our worst enemy against our sanity and happiness.  Sometimes I don't even know why I am so resistant.  My husband is always a good litmus test, as he seems to always be asking me, "Why is that so upsetting?"  I think to myself, "Who's the yoga teacher here???" 

One student this week expressed concerns that she feels a discharge notice from work is only a phone call away.

In another class, where I am a new and different teacher to the group, I notice a group of white women, all trim, all beautiful, all dressed in perfectly coordinating, expensive yoga attire, and all stone cold in their faces.  The intense energy of this group prompted me to invite everyone to feel themselves smile, to feel their skin soften.  I literally saw very little change.  

The human pulse of this week tells me challenge and change are Universal.  Maybe it is the election and the ramifications of the collective check marks at the polls.  Maybe it is fall.  Maybe we are all consumed with feeling the pain of the loss of summer weather that we can't see the beginning that fall offers.

The week begins with a class I had been building for over a year is no longer mine to teach.  I am given a different time slot and one student shows up.  What a great opportunity I tell myself.  I have no idea what comes after that - but I simply decide that Nature has its plans.  Then I get home from class and the city is spray painting my Ash Tree to be removed.  Ambiguity and change seem ubiquitous.

In the greater yoga world we continue to see diverse thinking about what yoga means.  For some people it is a time to sweat away their tension and the class isn't good enough unless they sweat hard.  Other practitioners want to feel an energetic shift from within all aspects of themselves and they are open to any invitation - as long as the guide is clear and authentic.  

Seeing the homogenous (mostly white women) yet diverse (practitioners with different visions invites me to re-evaluate my voice.  It doesn't feel good to pander to perceptions of what people want.  When I leave a classroom after teaching -  I need to feel like I made an authentic offering.  That a teaching of the Universal flows through me and I share it in the most honest, clear,  yet sensitive way I can in that moment.  That is when I feel like teaching yoga has its most potent impact.  When we can truly align with our Big Self - not just sweat hard to look good in expensive workout clothes.

In a world where we often need to think about keeping our jobs to survive this question becomes very interesting for me.  It seems the way I survive is by not holding back, or pandering, but by being more bold.  Letting my own voice be heard truthfully to myself.  When we hear something true it sounds different than any other sound.

In a time when things are changing we get more opportunity to choose how we will align with change.  I am going to be drawing some lines in my own life and in my teaching.  I will not allow fear to guide my story lines and agendas.  It is time for me to decide what to follow and not waver on the big truths, the heart wishes, the things that make me feel whole.   To love who I am in all the dark corners as well as the strong, bright places. 

I think the pavers that outline my ash tree out front will become my unruly, yet charming English-style garden I am always dreaming about.    One tree is gone and I shall plant the new green life that is to sprout next.  Life happens for me - not to me.  I get to choose what I create and I choose to listen and align with the Universal Flow. 

From the truest place in myself to the truest place in you.

Namaste