Change is Life

Beginner's Mind

I am awakening to a new beginning that is also an end.  When I feel attached to something, as I do considering Summer's End, it is always comforting to remind myself that an end is also a beginning.  This weekend while visiting the "big lake," Lake Superior, I notice the leaves turning golden yellow and orange-red.  Soon the fresh autumn air will share space with us and we will hear those leaves, once golden yellow, now brown, crunching below our feet.  The space around us will be the same landscape we always see, but many changes visible.  The blooms and fruits of summer's fullness now beneath us preparing to become fertilizer for next year's bounty.  Our Mother, nature, is showing us her need to turn inward, to rest so she may wonder, dream and sew what is to come.

Today it hit me that change is life.  If I am not embracing what is in front of me then I am missing the point of living.  If I am trying to change myself, or someone else or life then I am not present, I am not trusting where I come from.

Over the weekend I was priviledged to go to Bayfield, Wisconsin to soak up the remaining hours of summer.  I set my intention to be present and breathe every breath of summer remaining.  I think I did a pretty good job overall.  One comedic situation comes to mind.  We arrive late Friday night and awaken Saturday some what early for vacation standards - 8 AM.  We set out to Bayfield from Washburn and I bless our day with 20 minutes of chanting a mantra to release fear and to bow to the eternal wisdom in all things.  August falls asleep in the car, so I now have that card to play when he is acting like a maniac.  

One caveat for me while on vacation is to surrender to the food situation.  Since I have a sensitive digestive system it is always a challenge.  Surely as aspect of my sensitivity is my brain.  So if I am to become overly concerned or analytical, I am sure to trigger an unfavorable chain reaction in my bowels.  I stop at a grocery to pick up some snacks to stave off hunger in the event that there is only cheese to eat - hey, we are in Wisconsin.  I find bananas, trail mix, granola bars and organic snap peas.  A fine balance of protein, carbs, veggies and fruit.  At some point I lose track of where I placed the trail mix.

As the trip goes on I continue to return to the memory of the trail mix that certainly couldn't have been fully consumed.  And my catch phrase ensues, " I wonder what happened to that trail mix?"   

At first the catch phrase is used to determine if any others in my party actually know where the trail mix has gone.  Then when no one does - I start repeating it every once in a while out of humor - because the repetition seems to be garnering a smile from my father and husband.  So that evening we look everywhere for the trail mix.  No luck.  It is almost as though the trail mix has vanished.  I continue the catch phrase for the next couple days.  Each time it excites some ambition to consider and search.

Then after a long day in the car we are finally home.  Each of us is feeling a little edgy after a few tantrums in the car and some miscellaneous adrenaline hikes.  As I unpack I remember to open the hidden pocket on my shoulder bag, recalling I had placed something there during the trip.  Sure enough, it is the trail mix!!!!  This elicits deep satisfaction and laughter within.

Hindsight shows me that the truth is that our proverbial trail mix is in every moment.  Trail mix being that elusive sparkle and safety that we are seeking in every moment.  So just when I think trail mix is what I needed - what was I missing that was actually in front of me?  Forever trail mix will be my reminder to surrender and see the trail and its mixture of sparkle and safety each step, each breath, each journey and even at journey's end.